all wrapped up in sugar and sweetness

It's a little after 5 am, and I'm up because Tyler was cold. Then I couldn't fall back asleep because I had a bone to pick with someone. And then I tried to take my mind off that so I started thinking about an incident we had with Alexis right before bed, which I also tried to put out of my mind, but then a blog post began to form. I continued to try and ignore it, until the snoring began. That was my cue to get up.

**Disclaimer: This was not the normal kind of "incident" we used to have Alexis. Have I mentioned that since kindergarten began life has been so much easier? I think she was just bored before, and would act out of boredom, but now school gives her so many things to occupy her mind with there's little room left to find ways to act out and generally be impossible. Also, I'm going to try and write this as delicately as possible so you don't think badly of Alexis. I love my daughter, she is my world, and I think she is one of the most marvelous creatures to ever grace this world.**

Let me tell you something about Alexis that will make it easier to understand why I keep thinking about what happened last night. Alexis is manipulative-which is such an ugly word, but it's not an ugly thing in a 5 year old. She is intelligent, shrewd (both synonyms of manipulative), determined, and relentless. My goodness is she relentless. The child has the ability to talk you out of the pants you are wearing if she wants them bad enough (so maybe don't wear pink pants with rainbows on them when around her). While some days it wears on me, I don't consider any of this to be a bad thing. I think it has the potential to be bad years down the road, but fortunately, coupled with her strong abilities is a kind heart. That kind heart will make all the difference in how she uses her super powers. (And hopefully Jeremy and I will do our jobs right in teaching her honest and correct principles that will help as well.) But for now, because Alexis is so persistent and persuasive (there, that's a better word!), she is used to getting what she wants (from other people--not from me). Which leads me to last night:

Since it's been cold lately the kids have been sleeping with extra blankets. The first night this happened Alexis slept with a fleece blanket with a Bronco's print on it that Tyler got for Christmas. The second night Tyler wanted to sleep with it, I think mostly because Alexis did. Since it is his, we made her give it to him. Every night since then there is a dispute over it. Alexis tries to sneak it up to her bed hoping Tyler won't notice, but Tyler always asks for it. We always make her give it to him (it is his!), and she always tries to find a way out of it. Last night I told her to look in the linen closet for another fleece blanket--one that is just as soft. She finally went to the closet, spent several minutes comparing the softness of a few different blankets and then pulled down a blue one with yellow flowers. I commended her on her choice to which she replied, "Oh, it's not for me. It's for Tyler". The she marched back to her room and tried and tried, with all her special ways, to convince Tyler that he'd rather sleep with the flowery blanket.

Tyler, like Jeremy and I, has become immune to her ways.

After that a crying fit ensued, the likes of which I have not seen in a very long time. Which is when my mothering heart broke. I sat there watching this little girl who so badly wanted a blanket, who is so accustomed to getting what she wants, cry her little heart out. It took all the restraint I had to not go take it from Tyler and give it to her.

I knew Tyler only wanted it because Alexis did, and I knew he wouldn't cry as much as she was. But I also knew that was wrong. I knew that it was his, and she needed to learn that. I knew that if I gave in last night, I'd give in more often, and more often would turn to always. I knew that if she didn't learn now that she can't always have what she wants, her life would be very, very hard. And I knew that if I set her up for that kind of life, I would be a failure as a parent.

So I sat there and watched her cry, and determined that one of the hardest parts of being a parent is not being able to always give them what they want. Sure she was crying over something silly today, but in 10 years she'll be crying over not getting the part in the play, or not making the team she tried out for, or something more serious and more ego inflicting. And just like last night, I'll only be able to watch her as she cries, cry a little myself, and do my best to help her pick up and carry on. Oy, the job of a parent. Is there anything harder?


P.S. If you are a relatively new reader and want to know why tomorrow, November 21st, is a special day, read what I wrote in 2007 here, and in 2008 here. At present I don't feel the need to write about it again, but I do never know when the mood will strike me.

boys will be boys

I had a whole post typed up about the nature of little boys. Mostly pondering on why they are the way they are and admitting that I don't entirely understand them. Tyler is often described by others as "all boy", meaning he loves all the typical boy things: cars, balls, sports, dirt, etc. But that post didn't feel right, so I left it for awhile and went out in the backyard with Tyler.

We have a little tree that dropped leaves, for the first time, and Tyler asked me to rake them into a pile so that he could jump in them. I watched him jump over and over, with hardly any leaves to pad his bottom, and realized how glad I am to be a mother to a boy. He introduces so many things into my life that I might not otherwise experience. Sure I don't understand why certain things make him happy, I'm just glad that he is happy.

But I do have a few things that I wonder about when it comes to my little Ty-guy.

1. How did he end up with such a need to wrestle? He has an actual need for it, as real as his need to eat, sleep, and poop.

2. How come boys just know how to mimic the sound of any kind of engine? I swear it must come hard wired in their brain.

3. How do they know about bad guys, weapons, and killing if you've never introduced it to them?

These are some of the things I wonder. I'll never really figure it out, since I have the mind, feelings and logic of a girl, but I do know being the mother to a little boy is a real pleasure! And I'm really glad that he's still little. He'll always be a boy, but he won't always come to me when he's hurt, he won't always ask me silly questions, and he won't always let me pat his little bum to my heart's content.

As the saying goes, thank Heaven for little boys.

P.S. Alexis introduces me to plenty of new things too. For instance, did you know it's possible for girls to like boys as young as the age of 5? She has a boy named Max in her class, and when she talks about him she has a goofy love struck look on her face. And her favorite part about him? His smile!! Please do not ask her about this, I'm trying to not encourage it! Thank Heaven for little girls?? Yes, I do thank Heaven for her, and then I pray for help.

P.P.S. I'm approaching post #300. Any suggestions on what I should do to celebrate? Or should I let it pass quietly by? At the rate I'm posting these days it probably won't happen for a month anyway...

sail away...as a family

Someday, when I'm perfect, I will forever be aware of how lucky I am. Today, when I'm not perfect, I get bogged down by responsibilities and forget to look for the joy in life. Which is really ridiculous because joy is abundant in my life. But thankfully I have lots of good friends in the same stage of life as me, with the same values and direction as me, who remind me what life is about.

It is about this:

When you look at this picture, there's lots of things you could see.
1. You could see kids in pajamas (one in wintry type, one in summery type).
2. You could see a mess.
3. You could see an air mattress and a pile of bedding, implying we had company (which we did).
4. Or you could see an ocean, a boat, a water trampoline, a bridge and some sharks (though they're invisible).

Today, the kids and I saw the last option. And we spent an hour jumping from place to place, trying to avoid the sharks, building bridges, and saving toys or little legs that would fall into the ocean.


As Alexis and Tyler get older they become more self entertaining. They are good to play together, and they are both good to play quietly by themselves. So I find myself becoming more the enforcer of rules, the getter of food, and the nagging voice telling them to clean up. Those things are all part of my job description, but also part of my job is getting on the floor and playing with my kids. And that last part, the most important part, is all too often lost in the shuffle of moving from one unimportant task to another. But showing them I love them, showing them I know how to have fun, and helping them build a strong imagination is a very important task. And so today, I feel pretty good about what I've done here. I just hope when Jeremy gets home tonight he also sees the ocean and boat!

Now go build a fort with your kids!

some Saturday morning snipits

Jeremy is at work this morning. I checked the calendar, and it's been since October 3rd that he's been home in the morning. I'm talking any morning, weekday or weekend. He is far too busy, but I'm glad that he chooses to spend his downtime with us. He had a chance to go golfing this afternoon and the man turned it down without even checking with me. I feel a little bad because the weather has been GORGEOUS, but I'm really really glad he wants to come home and be with his family.

Have you heard of a show called "Dinosaur Train" on PBS? It's Ty-guy's new favorite, but it really is kind of annoying (though probably better than Caillou). Not to mention that I'm a little confused about dinosaurs, but it seems like all the "facts" they spout about the different dinosaurs is just a lot of guessing. Like, how do they know what kind of sounds dinosaurs made? So, anyway, this morning there was an episode on that was also on earlier this week, in which they explain that EVERY dinosaur poops. At the end they sing a little song about it, and now what's stuck in my head is "Every dinosaur poops!" (sung to a tune). While the other facts may be fuzzy, I'm thinking that one is probably accurate. Oh, and lucky you, I just found a link to it!

Along the same lines, in a continual effort to guarantee Tyler doesn't pee anywhere he's not supposed to, I tell him the characters on his underwear will be mad at him if he pees on them. So this morning he picked his Lightning McQueen underwear (his fave) and I said, "What will Lightning say if you pee on him?" His response is always somewhere along the lines of "Oh Boy! If you pee on me then I won't wear you anymore and I'll throw you in the garbage can and I'll be mad at you." Or he'll simply say "Oh Boy! I'm getting wet!" When he says it he's talking as if he's Lightning, and he always starts with "Oh Boy" but after that it can get a little confusing.

Last night Jeremy and I watched, "So I Married an Axe Murderer". Remember that movie? Yeah, I used to think it was funny, but this time around I was bored. Someone please tell me why people find Mike Myers funny? Or is it me? Have I lost my sense of humor? That could be, which would explain why my blogs been suffering lately. Sorry for posting less often, and probably for being less entertaining. Hopefully I'll get back to normal soon. Maybe you all should leave me a joke in the comments so I can see if I really have lost my sense of humor?

since you asked...

Usually, around October 29th, Jeremy will say to me, "What should I be for Halloween?" Sometimes he dresses up for work, other times for parties, but every time he asks me. I haven't figured this out, because I NEVER actually help him. Maybe I did the first few years we we're married, a mistake you newlyweds or unmarrieds should learn from. Anyway, he continues to ask, I continue to pretend like I'm thinking about it, and he eventually pulls something together last minute and it usually looks pretty good. This year instead of pretending like I'd help I just said, "I wish you would lose your Halloween spirit like I have, then life would be easier!" It would make my life easier because then I wouldn't have to feel the guilt of not really helping. But it would make him boring like me, so I guess I don't really want that. Usually my Halloween spirit extends far enough to get my kids dressed up as whatever they want to be (or whatever their dad wants them to be) and that's it. This year, for the ward party I made a headband that had bats flying off it. I figured since everyone else dressed up, I should at least try to be a little festive. So I wore it, and I probably left everyone wondering if I was supposed to "be" something. Someone finally asked me and I said, "I've been driven batty". There's a lot of truth in that.
So, sorry, but this is the only picture I have of me wearing it, and you can barely see it. Also, notice how my mouth is open? Moral support to Tyler in his donut eating contest.

Also, see below: Tyler makes a cute dinosaur too. And Alexis looks cool with half her head orange and the other half pink. Her idea, and a darn good one if you ask me. Also, they went trick or treating at grandma's house, with all their cousins. This was a lot of fun for them, as it's a holiday I don't think we've ever done with that side of the family.

A bull, a black panther (the animal kind), a witch, a dinosaur, Super Why, Princess Pea

Boo!

Happy Halloween! Pictures from our costumes for last night's ward Halloween Party (which I thought was a lot of fun and had quite a few impressive costumes).
Jeremy's favorite question of the night was, "Do you really own those shoes?" Yes, he really does. And not just for this occasion-he's had them for awhile.

My pretty pink haired witch. Who insisted on having a cape, so I scrambled to make one yesterday morning before school, then she threw a fit every time I made her wear it. It's for the best I suppose because it's so poorly made I would probably have to tell people that Jeremy made it-- just to save face.


Our orange haired punk rocker who won "Best Costume-Child". I haven't figured out if that's because most people were gone by the time they handed out the awards, but we'll take it. I think the orange Mohawk pushes it over the top. Tonight he'll be a dinosaur. The fact that he has two costumes, and won an award for one of them, has caused an endless amount of jealousy in Alexis. But, she wouldn't be Alexis if she hadn't already talked Tyler into giving her his trophy and the candy in it. This morning they were looking at it and he said to her, "Oh cool, will you share that candy with me??"

pee on the floor and other news

Just now, as Tyler and I were eating lunch, he asked me, "Mom, do I have a pull-up on or underwear on?" As you can imagine this sent off little alarms in my head. I turned to look at him and tell him he had underwear on, just in time to see that look cross his face. If you've spent any time at all around little kids, particularly when they are relieving themselves, you know what look I'm talking about. The look of "I feel so much better", which in this case was immediately followed by the look of realization that "I guess I'm not wearing a pull-up".

On Sunday Alexis wanted to help with dinner, and I told her no. So she said, "well, what can I help with?" As a joke I told her she could load the dishwasher. I thought she would scoff at the idea, but she literally jumped at the chance. She asked how to do it, I gave her some quick and basic instructions, figuring she'd be bored of it in a minute and went back to my business. Twenty minutes later Alexis is still there and most of the dishes are in the dishwasher. There are a few really amazing parts of this story.
1. She wouldn't leave until she was certain that she got every dirty dish in there.
2. The only thing she did wrong was turn the cups right side up instead of upside down.
It was possibly one of the cutest things she's ever done. She even put the silverware in according to category, like all the forks in one slot and all the spoons in another. And she's like her father, she washed off the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

Not that I would EVER consider doing this, but if I were to rank my children according to favorites right now, can you guess what the order would be? Even if I did play favorites, at least they've got each other right?
I love when they sit like this on the couch, and they do this quite often. They truly love each other and it makes me so happy.

In other news, it's snowing today. And I mean SNOWING! In my ever eloquent way I thought of how I could summarize my feelings on the snow, and it goes like this: Oh crap.

And to think, just days ago we were warm, playing here:
It's really a shame.

TGIF

It's been one of those weeks. Who knows what brings these weeks on? Change in the weather? Waking up on the wrong side of the bed? Colds?

But it's the kind of week where it seems the best I can do is turn the couch on it's front end and let them build a fort. And then leave it like that for two days. The kind of week where I just sit back, read a book, and ensure that no one kills anyone else.



Though yesterday morning the guilt finally got to me and I pulled out some Halloween wood cutouts and we painted them.
The beauty of underachieving, as I have done this week, is that when you do something completely normal you are treated as a hero.

This afternoon we're headed to St. George for some fun on the sand dunes in the Rhino. This quick trip has something for everyone. For Alexis, it's the swimming pool and the other little girl that will be there too. For Tyler and Jeremy, it's the time on the Rhino. For me, it's the company of my husband, the warm sunshine, and the lack of responsibility for fixing food. I suspect this trip is just what everyone around here needs! And maybe next week we can return to normal?


P.S. Mullets are only funny once (if then...)--so we brought this back!

this picture makes me smile

Get a good look at his hair because if everything goes according to schedule (when does it ever??), he'll be getting a haircut tonight. Can you guess what look we are revisiting?

is there a point?

Oh, the dishes.

Oh, I hate dishes!

Oh, how I procrastinate doing the dishes!

I have a rule, NO CLEANING THE KITCHEN ON SUNDAY (unless company is coming)! I would like to say that rule is because I try to keep the Sabbath day holy. I do try to do that, but that is not my motivating factor. No, I know I should keep it holy and not spend my time cleaning the house, but I use it more as an excuse, not a reason, for not doing my dishes. Makes sense?? I guess I mean I haven't quite gotten to the point of truly wanting to keep the Sabbath day holy, instead I'm at the point of "well, I've been given this day to not do dishes so I'm going to use it." I do hope to get there someday. Probably when there's just two of us left at home, or maybe just me ('cause the rule is that Jeremy has to die first when we're old--I could not rest in Heaven knowing he was down here having to be lonely and take care of himself), and there are very few dishes, that's when I'll get there. But anyway, my no dishes rule on Sunday makes for a lot of work on Monday.

It's kind of like how I bribe my kids with candy all the way through the Sacrament. They are sitting still, but they are probably not thinking about Jesus. BUT they are SITTING STILL!! And I figure if I can train them to sit still that will allow someday for thoughts of Jesus to enter. Right?? So that's why I have little piles of candy corn on my lap throughout the whole Sacrament. Though sometimes I only have one pile because a certain little boy has lost all his. Sacrament is a hard time for him.

Speaking of, today I have to take Tyler to the doctors, for his 3 year old check-up. The poor unsuspecting boy doesn't know, because I've been careful not to tell him. I can't decide if this is mean or not, but I know if I tell him, he'll ask if he's getting a shot. And he is at least getting a flu shot, and probably some other vaccinations that I don't remember right now. And at 2 o' clock! That's nap time! This will be a fun afternoon, to say the least.

Speaking of flu shots, what are your opinions on getting the swine flu shot? I have not made a decision yet, mostly because the opportunity hasn't fallen right in my lap (what are the odds that it will?), so I'd like to hear what other people think. Particularly you others with kids--those germ infested, disease carrying kids!

Perhaps I will make an apple pie today. I should tell myself that I cannot make a pie until I've cleaned the kitchen, but I don't know if that will work. Because, as Jeremy says, I'm going to do whatever I want anyway. And that is true! And what are your opinions on that?? (The pie making, and me doing whatever I want).

YES!! A crying child needs me, one more way to procrastinate the dishes! Oh, and the phone is ringing!! This could go on all morning...